Feeling helpless

I write with a very heavy heart right now. There are times when you feel like doing a million things, and you feel helpless. They call it work anxiety. You feel like you should be doing something. I think this is just one of those days..

Sometimes you take a look at something, and you think that you've grasped enough of it to last you a lifetime. You start thinking that you know enough to be able to comfortably talk about it. And you think that you can learn more along the way. But suddenly you fall into a conversation that leaves you high and dry. Your realize that you've been living in a fool's paradise. That's when you feel helpless. You realize that what you thought you could protect was just a delusion, a mere wish strong enough to cover your eyes from the reality.

I feel I had more ideas and more certainty to fight back. There are not much good that we do with our lives. But when we're given a chance, and we're helpless in availing, passing it by helplessly, it hurts. It really hurts.

I wish I could uphold the truth! I need strength to do that.

The hunt continues.. I'm still looking for a job. I think when I finally do have a job, things will change for the better.